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Apologizing For Nothing

Currently Listening:

Brothers
By: The Black Keys

For anyone who occasionally checks this thing, I apologize for my absence.  
Things are moving ridiculously fast right now and don't seem to be slowing down, but I guess that's what you get when you're trying to balance 3 accelerated courses, homework, a job, and maintain a social life.  It's starting to drain me.

Only 3 more weeks of this.  Then I graduate and things will start to slow down.  But I need to up my game for the rest of the semester.  Decided, right now.

Anyway...  I'll have something new and original here next time.

Until then,
Peace. 

(And apparently xanga changed the uploading screen; either that or my new web browser just doesn't work the same way...  Either way, I have to pick a new font.  ...Stupid......) 

Something "New"

Currently Listening:

Sea Of Cowards
By: The Dead Weather
(Amongst a multitude of other new music)

Well hello hello Xanga.  I apologize for the long hiatus.
Let me begin by dedicating this post to friends of mine who have begun to peruse through this journal.  I know I mention this site to people occasionally because it is a very good reflection of who I am as a person.  So, welcome.  Enjoy what's written in here.  I know the beginning posts are very naive, and now I am beginning to become more verbose.  But I suppose that's what you get when you can visibly see yourself change over the past 5 years......  Geez it's been a long time.

I guess...  Where to begin?  It's been so long that I forget where I left off.....
I suppose I owe the occassional passerby an explanation on why there has been such a gap in my posting.  Plain and simply; there is just way too much going on. 
I had to finish up finals, and continue my momentum in academia immediately into the summer semester.  6 more weeks and I will be a college graduate.  First in my immediate family?  wow...  talk about pressure.....  Obviously that has been getting a lot of attention right now. 
And having a little bit of a job on the side chews up a lot of my time on the weekends. 
Then there's the social aspects...  I've met and grown closer with so many people lately; artists, friends, hopefuls, etc...  It's been a bit of a rollercoaster both emotionally and connection wise.  With so many people travelling and spreading out, it's dragging on me; opening myself up to people so they can disappear on me or ditch me for a while...  Not like it's intentional, but it's kind of bittersweet when you're getting so many good instances and then having them torn away from you.  I get sick of the ever-cursed luck that I recieve..... 
As far as music goes, I've been growing and excelling, but haven't had a lot of inspiration to play because of the hell-sickness that hit me a few weeks ago.  I'm feeling much better now, and playing much more often, and attempting to write again.  I have 2 songs with vox now, a multitude of covers with full vox, a couple works in progress, and quite a few chord progressions just hanging in the air without lyrics at the moment...  (I need someone to help me compose myself so that I can compose music.) 

So now you know.  It's been a wild past month, and I have to keep that train a-rolling for another month and a half.  Then things with finally start to 'normalize'.  If that's even possible...  Because after this I get to start a very transitional period of my life, full of opportunities and exploration into the 'real world'.  Holy Shit...  I don't have a clue, do I?  It's starting to dawn on me how ill-prepared I am for life after my undergrad...  You know, school is all I've done for the past 16+ years of my life; it's just become an expectation that I'll be continuing courses again in the fall.  But this time that won't be the case.  I'll be able to pursue more 'professional' options...  Oy vey.  What am I doing?...

Oh well, the future is always a bit cloudy...  I guess we're all kind of in the same boat, graduating and splitting out to see what else awaits.  It's going to be crazy, and I look forward to if and when we'll all cross paths again.

Remember: Goodbye's are never final, they're more like "I'll see you later"s but we don't know when and under what circumstances 'later' will be.

For the moment though, I'm not going anywhere.  I'm still me, I'm still branching out; I'm not quite ready to fly yet, so I'll stay as a part of the tree.

I suppose that's all I have for now.

Peace.

EDIT: I'm thinking about doing one epically long post.  Just describing my life, everything that has happened to shape who I am today up to this point.  Just vague enough to keep you wondering, but just informative enough to give you a better understanding of who I am as a person.  I dunno.  Yea or nea?  I'm thinking Yea. 

Feeling Good

Currently Listening

"Glorious"
Invincible
By: Muse

Oh man...  So much to share.  I know it's been a little while.

I have a job now.  Just a part-time shit clerk job to get me by until I can find somewhere else to work.  Reminds me of my first job.....  Either way, I'm not very enthused.  But it's money, so I suppose I shouldn't complain.  I won't be just scratching by any more, and it will be better in the long run I guess.

Wen't up to Grand Rapids the other night for Mr. Matthew Eastman's birthday celebration at Republic.  Every time I hang out with that group of friends, I always feel instantly accepted and at ease.  They're all wonderful, talented, and very enthusiastic, and I love each and every one.  Also, I recconnected with a very close friend of mine for the first time in quite a long time...  And it's about time we got that out of the way.  I've missed her...  Heck, I've missed all of them.
I love Kalamazoo, I really do, but I don't feel the same here as I do in G.R..  It's just not the same...  The company is different, and I feel less expressive here.  I kind of wonder where we're all going to end up in the near future...  With everybody moving around and going their own way, I almost feel like some are losing touch and it's starting to fall apart.  But when we're all together, it's a much more enlightened group of people.

Ehhhh...  I'll finish this later.

Peace.

EDIT: Wow.  I know it's been over a month.  I lost track of time and space for a little while there.  Don't worry.  I'll be back soon.

Looking back... Getting Inspired... You know the drill.

Currently Listening:

Of The Blue Colour Of The Sky
By: OK Go

[He Said:  "I'm Sorry, this is a bit confusing."
She Said: "What is?"
And the two embraced each other, right there in that moment.  And it was the single most astounding period of time in his life; those few, unexplainable seconds.]

"It is so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness.  We have no scar to show for happiness.  We learn so little from peace."  -  Chuck Palahniuk, Diary, pg. 213

You know...  Still reminicing...  (4 and a half years ago now.  It seems hard to believe that it's been that long since I've felt that way...  Still looking, still anxious, still blaming myself...)

Sorry if this seems sad...  Believe it or not, but life is actually looking up more and more lately.  I'm happier than I've been in a while, (but still not the happiest that I could be.......I suppose there's always room to improve though).

Just finished reading a very good book the other day.  The sunshine, the warmth, and a nice cup of coffee, with my fingers torn up and tingling from a few hours of playing guitar...  It all just inspired me to do something memorable with my day.  So I did, and I did wonderfully. 

Wrote my first legit song a day before.  More sunshine, more warmth, more inspiration.  I have a lot of potential to go a lot further with it, but for the moment, it's short and sweet and good, and I like it. 

Further, I'm in the midst of writing another one.  No vox or lyrics at the moment, but I've got a solid, very lovely guitar part going, and I like it even more. 

Life is good.

Peace.